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Probably Grief

Now, nearing my own nadir I reflect on

All things never said and seldom done

I have come around to the emptiness

That eats my heart

I have to define it, know it, and name what

This feeling is

Because it is not longing, or lust, or want

It does not spring from an absence of love

It is not surety, or the shame it brings

Or hurt, or regret, honestly

And it is not care for what others think

I lost touch with remorse in the 7th grade

What I feel, I think, is probably grief

That there is no such thing as a happy ending

No such thing as second chances

No cavalry coming from just beyond the hills

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